Broke Dreamer

Late August I wrote down “a fall wedding” in my Dream Book. & on October 14th, 2016 that effing (REAL LIFE) happened. 

I also wrote down “red wedding dress”, & that happened very accidentally 😜. I had two official (almost white) wedding dresses, & an after party black dress I bought at Target 🎯. The black dress ended up being too small πŸ˜’ (🐷🐷🐷), so I wore my little sis/jr bridesmaid’s little hottie red dress.

Dreams come true. & a lesson I learned was life will always be challenging even when you get exactly what you want.

I cannot put into words how thankful I am for My Annoying (now Hubz) & I’s wedding. 

Even though our wedding was free… we still got a pay or quit notice, multiple late notices on all of our bills, & over $120 in over draft fees. 

We were trippin, FOREAL. & all of October, I was relying on my PFD (permanent fund dividend) to come in soon after to cover everything, which was a very irresponsible & stupid idea (considering I recently found out I will not get it until probably the end of the year πŸ˜‘). 

Luckily, the rent (& late fee) has been paid 😸, the important bills were paid, & we are happy. & since we do not have wifi any more (πŸ‘‹πŸΌπŸ‘‹πŸΌπŸ‘‹πŸΌ, I still owe them tho πŸ˜‚) we have been spending more quality time with each other. 

Everything works out, I believe. When I get stuck in my head worrying about my “bills, bills, bills”, I take a deep breathe and remember that even the United States America is in debt, but it is still glorious (I don’t know if I would include this election year, but that’s a whole other subject that I will never discuss πŸ™…πŸ»).

Money doesn’t make people; people make money. & people do not only earn money, but literally people designing & printing (making) money probably right now.

I’ve been trying to be more “minimalist” so this period of borke-ness is helping me see what’s really important to our family & throw out a lot of junk. & I think it’s teaching the Hubz the reality of how much we spend on eating out! 

So from the ashes (broke-ness), the phoenix (us), will rise (get rich πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚). 

Lesson learned for the month, if you enjoyed what you spent the money on, enjoy all the consequences thereafter (broke-ness in my case) & learn something for the time being. 

When you accept what is, great crap happens! 

Anywho, I want to be legit in the blogging business so… I may not post for a little while, I want to fix my page, & start creating images for my titles. 

PLEASE comment with feedback on what you like or don’t & suggestions. Be completely honest. My feelings might get hurt, but I’ll grow from it πŸ˜…. & remember if you like my blog… share it.

Love y’all,
Busy Mommy of Tuna

Secret Life of a Wife

If you’re a wife and you don’t have a secret life, you are not living. & FYI your husband definitely (100%) has one.

Only clingy and unhappy people want to be with and/or know what their significant other is doing 100% of the time. To either feed their insecurity, or make their significant other just as unhappy as themselves. FYI: I was too guilty of this for a long time, so I make no judgment of you if you’re at this stage in your relationship.

Anyway, my secret life separate from my husband use to be my gym life, however I fell off that wagon a while ago & now I’m trying to find a new one. It would be blogging, but I talk about him too much for it to be. 

I think every woman needs their own identity. The woman they are without a man/woman (whatever you’re into🌈), without kids, & without consideration of anyone else in the world (or their opinion(s)).

I’ve never been really passionate about anything. Mostly because I’ve never been great at anything & always had a lot of crap going on. & I’ve never been single long enough to not work my day around the other person’s schedule (😷😷😷 yes very stupid), but I’m growing. 

Now at 25, I not only know but I feel the absoluteness of my (intentional space) self. & I am ready to do something everyday that I love that I do not tell my husband about at all. & FYI: I usually cannot help but tell him everything, even considering most days I have no idea what he’s done until I see one of his buddies’ social media posts that mention him πŸ˜’.

But if you’ve ever asked me why I love my husband, I have answered (& will still) that he is so annoying to my life, but he is his own person & I respect that more than I need him to obey my every command 😹.

I think I may start snowshoeing, πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”. I have no idea, but I need my secret life to be an active hobby, because I am so unhealthy right now. & at least being out in nature will help with literally EVERYTHING, for me. 

Anywho, I’ll keep you updated on any Busy Mommy of Tuna secret life activities when they happen. 

What is your secret life? 

Sincerely yours,
Busy Mommy of Tuna

A Wedding Crashers Wedding, TBH

Friday, October 14th, was the big day. 

I  wanted to get you guys a review on the whole experience, so googled a questionnaire & here it is: 

Enjoy snitches.

1. Bride: What advice would you give to future brides for their wedding day?

-Hire people to do everything; the less you have to worry about the better. & the less people who did things for free, you have to kiss up to πŸ‘ŒπŸΌ.

-Plan, plan, plan, & plan waaaaaay in advance. & keep track of every decision made & ONE (I repeat ONE) ongoing to do list.

2. Groom: What advice would you give to future grooms for their wedding day?

Sorry Hubz, my blog 😎. But advice from a bride… please wait to get drunk until after the ceremony πŸ˜’ thanks πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„.

3. How did you tame your wedding day nerves?

Not applicable. πŸ™„. 

I was beyond nervous & cray. 

If you’re a drinker definitely do that 😹. And/or a partaker of the marry-joo-wana that may help too🌬🌬🌬. 😹😹😹.

But I had one Mike’s Hard Lemonade & that didn’t really do much for me.

4. What was your biggest surprise on your wedding day?

The groom was asked for cash to pay for someone already on the guest list πŸ™„. 

Oh & who can forget that my bishop did not really know our names πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. 

5. What one moment will last with you forever?

Every single one, from the unexpected ceremony vow disaster to our 24K Magic by Bruno Mars electric slide.

6. Which moment are you the most excited to see in photos?

The reception; candid photos are my favorite. 

Rebekah with Lewing Photography is really gifted. I love her art. I only wish she was able to solely focus on the photography the whole night. FYI: She was a big part of all the other wedding stuff too, which she is also amazing at. 

7. What was your wedding inspiration? (think decor, overall theme and feel of the day, etc)

Boho-Native American with marsala & neutral colors. 

The decor was perfect! Everything looked so good. My dad made a tipi, which completed everything. My flowers were dark and amazing! (Thank you Becky @ Evalyn’s Floral πŸ€—)

The Alaskan Native Heritage Center felt comfortable & romantic. Great Land Events did a great job bringing my theme to reality.

8. Describe some of your favorite wedding details and how you came up with them.

-The two wedding dress life: I didn’t come up with it, but I’m happy the sponsor, Orainda’s Bridal, was able to pull it off. I was able to wear an uncomfortable hot dress πŸ’ƒπŸ», & I didn’t have to endure the pain of it the whole night! 

-My cake(s). DELICIOUS. πŸ€—πŸ€—πŸ€—. Thank you Bake Anywhere. 

-My bouquet, my centerpiece on the sweetheart table, & all the flower arrangements were perfect. Evalyn’s Floral delivered. 

9. What song did you walk down the aisle to?

Through It All, by Mana Poly All Stars

10. What song played for your first dance?

Wonderful Tonight, by Eric Clapton

11. Any advice for those planning their wedding now?

Have faith in your team, however don’t expect that people can read your mind. Know what you want & know how to effectively communicate same.

Oh & do not wait for details to just figure themselves out… If you are not on top of it, no one else will be until it’s the night before!

12. What are you most looking forward to as a married couple?

Tax benefits 😹😹😹. Lol, jk, umm… not living in sin anymore. πŸ˜‡πŸ˜œ.

13. What did you like the most about working with Great Land Events?

With less than a month to plan, the wedding was successful. I met a lot of great people & learned a lot about weddings. 

Teresa with Great Land Events genuinely wants to give her clients what they want & goes to great lengths to get it done. She is also very realistic & that is helpful for decision making.

14. Is there anything you would have changed about their work/technique/etc?

Honestly, the only complaints I have overall are regarding the actual wedding crasher specific situations, i.e., incredibly short timeline, & not being able to do bridal party pictures earlier in the day (our dresses arrived close to the start of the ceremony).

One thing I wish we would have done was go through the complete day as planned out at rehearsal, to smooth out any details. Honestly though, I was too effing tired for all that on that day anyway 😣.

CONCLUSION

It was beautiful. Everyone was beautiful. & all the sponsors were amazing and delivered more than I expected. & I even love that we had all the actual wedding crashers there. 

The only craziness and regrets I have from that were caused by myself πŸ˜‘. Mostly crankiness. LOL, but that is me. 

I will post pictures after Lewing Photography sends me the finals! 

There is so much more I have to say and show you guys… I’m just too lazy & have been hibernating since the wedding πŸ˜‚. I even missed our after party & slept instead πŸ‘΅πŸ». 

So… until next time,

Addios Muchachos,
Busy Mommy of Tuna

Cleaning Day

My house has not been my house for a little while.

I used a lot of my home decor for my bridal shower & did not unpack any of it until today. 😯. (FYI: Bridal Shower was two weeks ago.)

There is more cleaning to be done, but at least the boxes are unpacked. I feel so relieved, like tomorrow normal life will resume πŸ€—.

My mother-in-law, sissy-in-law Sana, sissy-in-law Nana, & Nephew Mason Jar, stayed with us in our two bedroom apartment, for the period(s) of: one week, two weeks, three days, & two weeks, respectively. Surprisingly, the space did not seem crowded at all. I actually don’t know how I would have survived the wedding month without them. & I miss them a lot too 😭😭😭.

Now that the wedding is over & my mind is clear, I wish I was able to enjoy time with my out of town relatives a little better. I was so worried completing my to-do list (which I couldn’t remember half the time anyway) that when I was with anyone I was still stressed! 

I think the only time I lived in the moment was at the start of my bachelorette party until the end, & after being announced as husband & wife into the reception. 

I am so thankful for everyone in my life. You never know how much (or how little) someone will do for you until the moment they do, or do not, do it. 

Always, I will cherish every second & every person involved in this experience.

I will post a “things I wish I would’ve done differently” entry very soon. I didn’t dislike any part of my wedding. & I know that everything went exactly as He planned for it to, but for any brides-to-be, there’s a couple things you may have not thought to consider! Lol.

Oi 😨 there is so much I need to catch up on, like laundry 😷, my home business, my relationship with my son, & future planning. I literally dropped my whole life since finding out we would get married on October 14th.

Ooh I am also going to post a “keeping it real” entry & will give an honest review on everyone (including non-sponsors) whose services I used in preparation for the wedding. 

I am so ready to get back on schedule & strengthen our (Hubby’s, Tuna’s, & my) family relationship. Getting married (again), but in a more grander scale made me realize that My Annoying is still My Annoying, I am still me, & our love is what it is. Marriage doesn’t make any of it stronger or better. & regardless of a perfect wedding, our day was about us.

Anywho, the wedding was beautiful. & our family & friends really came through for us. More on the details later… today was cleaning day & tonight is spirtitual renewal night, πŸ’†πŸ».

Sincerely,
Busy Mommy of Tuna

Rose

Yesterday my husband came home early from eating out with his cousins, and told me we needed to go to my mom’s house. He looked distressed so I begged/forced him to tell me why. 

He did, & I cried.

At the family meeting my mom told me, my siblings & cousins that my Grandma Rose passed away earlier this week. She decided to wait and tell us after the wedding 😞. 

My grandma recently left to the Philippines to visit her property & family. She stayed longer than planned. & she had a heart attack.

During my mom’s very awkward announcement, she said at least Grandma Rose will be surprised to see Chad (because we never told her he passed away 😧). My family is not good at delivering bad news. & even worse at expressing emotions. It is the Fenton way to just not talk about it. πŸ™„ it’s not a great way, but they’ve all gotten by, lol.

I think I’m okay. But I do miss her… & Chad… & my grandma Kalo. In my lifetime have lost three people very close to me (more but they are the dearest to me). October 2016 Gramdma Rose passed away. July 2015 Chad left us. & in September 2012 Grandma Kalo’s battle with breast cancer ended.

I feel/felt a lot of guilt with each persons passing.

I lived in the same city as Grandma Kalo, but didn’t visit her for 2 years, just because I didn’t make it a priority. Only when she was given months to live did I visit her regularly.

My first friend ever & first cousin Chad decided that his problems were greater than his desire to live. At that time I hadn’t spoken to him for years, just because we were different & couldn’t relate as well anymore.

This past September I didn’t visit my Grandma Rose once & didn’t get to say goodbye to her before she went to the Philippines. & I did not always do what I promised her I would πŸ˜“.

I can neither rewind time, nor tell them sorry. But I can value the people I am close with now & show them that they matter to me before it’s too late.

I use to spend so much time with people I don’t like, i.e.: coworkers, classmates, & fake friends, doing worthless things. & where are these people now in my life? Answer: they’re not! 

I know that my grandmas & Chad were at my wedding, but I couldn’t help but to cry wishing that they were still alive.

Time is almost an illusion. We have so much of it, but equally we don’t have enough. 

I miss you my crazy grandma Rose. You had a natural happiness that so many people cannot seem to keep. I love you & all your craziness. & until we meet again, slap Chad for me! 

Love,
Busy Mommy of Tuna

Cannot Deal

Tomorrow I am freaking getting married to My (most) Annoying lover, Siale Fa’avesi. 

I am sick to my stomach; I am high off happiness; & I am physically exhausted.

I was not myself this past week, thus the lack of entries. I was “a crazy”. I felt like the wife-turned-zombie, who no one wants to kill, because they think there’s a chance her soul is still present.

I had a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, & a rehearsal (w/ no dinner 😬). 

My Maid of Honor is amazing, my Ride or Die Bridemaids are amazing, & I am so blessed.

I will give many many details soon! The venue is so beautiful & everything will turn out great. 

I just wanted to take the time to let all of my readers (you know all 6 of you πŸ˜‚), that I’m still alive & still excited & most of all ready to be My Annoying’s 1st, 2nd, & last wife. 😭.

Don’t judge me tomorrow. I will be crying all day!

Maid of Dishonor πŸ™…πŸ»

The better side of me has been trying to understand that being a bridesmaid is a little more work than people want to take on (especially with only a 1 month notice until the wedding).

At first, I didn’t want a bridal shower or a bachelorette party, but after hearing everyone asking me if I was going to have one… I couldn’t get the idea out of my head πŸ‘ΈπŸ½πŸ‘ΈπŸ½πŸ‘ΈπŸ½. So I decided to just send out invites & let my bridal party handle the rest.

Of course my control issues/passion for decor left me restless for the past two weeks; ergo, I’ve taken over 😈.

My MOH/best friend since elementary school failed to return my call/messages/emails this past week. & I’ve stressed myself out about it. I even showed up to her house; she neither answered the door, nor mentioned my earlier text messages when she text me she was “in the shower” when I was at the door, πŸ‘Ώ.

I’m just frustrated because I’m not mad at her, I just want her to gaf enough to communicate with me.

Ultimately, I decided to invite everyone who I wanted as a bridesmaid to the Alaska Native Heritage Center this past Sunday during the bridal show. I told myself whoever showed would be in my line & whoever didn’t would not.

Come Sunday at 4 p.m. my original MOH did not show. 

I am sticking with the decision I made. I still feel guilty, but I guess this is me setting a personal boundary (which I am very bad at). Ugh. 😷.

On the bright side, she can do her thing without feeling obligated. & I can focus on me & not our communication issues.

My bridal shower is this Saturday. & even though I am broke as a joke & my PFD check will be late this year, the show goes on. & I am excited for whatever happens with whoever shows up. If people want to support you they will, (right?), or at least communicate the reasons they’re unable too.

Anyway, I don’t like things being about me. It’s a lot of pressure. Especially because I’m a bit of a perfectionist & the stress that puts on me, in the past has pushed me to give up. 

Still, there is a lot of good going on:

  1. My SIL is here &she’s helping me get out of my feelings;
  2. I got a little part time job & I can bring the kids with meπŸ€‘;
  3. I was on 101.3 KGOT & feel famous 😎;
  4. A lot of people I love will be here very soon;
  5. & the world is still spinning.